When we grow up in a trubulent environment , as a child we end up learning various maladaptive behaviours to cope up with the frightening life around us.
We learn to think in black and white. Our survival brain functioned on flight and fight mode . Either the things were good or there was war going on around us.
Our life is still shadowed by the inner critic that scrutinize every decision we make . This is how trauma impact our lives. We worry about the every decision we make. Those words of abusers still ring sometimes .
We don’t need to be ashamed of these traits. They developed because as a child we needed to cope up with the world around us. And this is how we survived.
We can’t let go of them till we accept our inner child, our inner critic and other shadow parts such as ( anger, hate, jealousy, fear etc). For true healing , we need to accept them and remember now that’s it’s past . We are safe now and as adults capable of protecting ourselves.