Splitting behaviour- it is one of the identifying characteristics of borderline personality disorder. It means seeing things in either black or white. It is either all good or all bad.
For many of the people growing up in abusive households ,where you don’t know what the next reaction would be, when the next shoe will drop, it was a defence mechanism . Where we learnt to act by assessing the situation and behaving how the parent wanted. There was the perfect parent who was all happy, full of love and adored you and then the next moment they might turn into someone who is full of anger and violent.

But the truth is the world isn’t divided into black and white. There are shades of grey too. So the challenge is are we ready to accept the shades of grey?

For example , you love chocolates and everything that has to do with chocolates. Also you don’t like fishes at all. But you are given a fish to eat covered in chocolate. This is the grey part. It is neither good nor bad.

Whenever you see you are splitting try the following points:-
1. Notice are you using the extreme words – all , none, never etc.
2. Assess the whole situation. Check the facts.
3. Make a list of positives and negatives.
4. Remember the balance i.e shades of grey.