Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
Emotions are the way we Express ourselves. Emotions are neither good nor bad , they exist. However, it is important to learn to express them in a healthy way. Anger is a healthy emotion and important to express when your boundaries are violated. It becomes a problem when it turns into explosive rage and control your reactions to a situation. That can have a devastating effect on your physical as well as mental state.
These are some tips to manage anger:-
1. Think before you speak – I know it’s easier said than done. When we are angry, in the spur of moment we end up saying hurtful words. Therefore, when you feel you may end up saying that you maybe later regret, take a break , take some deep breathes and say it calmly in an assertive way. Rather than a knee jerk reaction, people hear you more when you are assertive and thoughtful.
2. What the anger is masking- Sometimes anger is a secondary emotional reaction to another primary emotion. When you feel angry, try to indulge into it and find out is it hiding vulnerability, shame or fear behind. That can help you recognise the actual meaning behind your emotion.
3. Know your triggers- check is there a pattern behind your anger episodes. Is there any particular trigger? Look at your regular routine and try to identify activities, times of day, people, places, or situations that trigger irritable or angry feelings. Then you can plan accordingly how to avoid such events.
4. Seek a relaxation outlet – you can journalise your feelings, can try kickboxing, try mindfulness, try distraction tools, try holding a ice cube in hand and press it hard, play with pets. And practice these skills regularly. Even when you aren’t angry. So when you need them, you can practice them instantly and get help.
5. Seek professional help- If you are unable to manage your anger and it is constantly disrupting your life. You should seek the help of a therapist. They can teach you techniques to better manage your anger.